Friday, June 13, 2008

Under the folding branches.

There I knew you once, didn't I?
And the sound of that music travelled
to me from that orphan sky
and pulled it all in my vault

Love hide me away
deep in this town and canopy of snow
Go, spin me around under the folding branches
Now, is not too late,
heaven can wait another year or so

Thought I loved you once, didn’t I?
But I wanted the fame, didn’t I?
Thought it broke your heart, didn’t I?
But that face in the dark wasn’t mine

This song by the Veils is so beautiful and nostalgic. It's about remembering a feeling-- maybe because a place holds a memory, more vivid than any picture in your mind. It's about seeing that person, they may have known each other so well that their souls aligned but then: no longer. It's weird how you can know every part of a person and then time passes by and not even know who their friends are or how their family is doing.
Being back in that moment, he recalls the music because he's saved it in his heart. Like a treasure or precious memory that can never be erased. It's that special song, no matter where you are or what you're doing- you think of that person. It's like a weird deja vu feeling of loving and losing. Of believing and betrayal. How you can have so much hope in a person and then realize you've put it in an illusion you can't even feel anymore.
But you did once- and that feeling, though dead, can come alive again. Like some hidden vault inside your heart. The memories, locked there safely and the more time that goes by the less you remember. Less reminds you of the moments.
Then he is back. Under the folding branches. it's like forgetting and remembering all again. Scenes of love flooding your mind and being swept back up into the wind.
The moment is over. but sometimes he wishes God can bring it back to you. When he's there, under the folding branches, he knows the feelings about to fade. he knows he wants it back and wishes he stayed. Wishes he tried. Wishes the branches wouldn't fold on the love he can barely remember any longer.
Then the truth:
He wasn't sure. He thought he loved-- but was never sure. Wanted the fame of love but never the real and true love. And now he's caught in a feeling. But love's not a feeling, and people they move on. and if all he really wanted was the idea, then it was never home to him.
And he didn't deserve it anyway-- all he deserves is to sit under the branches and try to remember the feeling, that will vanish and leave him empty and alone.
Because the feeling fades. But the hope remains.

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